After Allegiant

Before you, my world was small. Black, white, blue, grey, yellow, red. Simple. 

Then you jumped and everything exploded -- fire and passion.

Our world was broken, but the future was bright. We were going to save it. 

But after everything -- war, betrayal, forgiveness, love -- you are gone. 

My world is dark. There is not light. No color at all. Only numbness. 

I read about a black hole yesterday.

Now I look up at the sky, but I don't see stars anymore, I see space - galaxies is what they are called. 

And now I am filled with it. Space. Empty hollow blackness. 

I am a black hole. All the pain and all the loss is pulled into my chest and shredded to pieces, leaving space. 

Before we left the city I knew everything's place. The distance between the platform and the train, the time I spent with each fear, the size of your hand, the strength needed to pull the trigger. 

Now I am not sure of size or limit. How long will the pain last? What is the distance between here and wherever you are now? What is the strength needed to be brave?

--

I finished Allegiant today. This is the result. 

If you haven't committed to the series, I highly recommend it. I fell in love with the characters and it explores some beautiful questions about fear and courage, knowledge and kindness. It questions human nature and our capacity to change. 

Bss, 

Marybeth