Waves

There are no sounds inside me, not audible ones at least. 

But there is a steady vibration coming from somewhere in my chest, a throbbing tempo 

and I cling to it.

A pressure is building, it is growing 

in my chest, in my throat, behind my eyes. 

It ebbs and flows to that throbbing tempo, like soft ocean waves. 

Sometimes it swells like the sea and I am afraid it will break and crash down on me and I will drown. 

I am afraid that my emotions will swallow me whole -- wreck the ship, leaving splintered wood and debris.

 ---

Life changes are hard work. I find myself struggling daily with this emotional roller coaster that I am on. But someone told me to ride it out, see where it goes -- it'll all work out. And I do believe that is true. My whole life has been a series blessed events that have lined up and worked out beautifully. 

But life, like art, doesn't happen easily or by accident, it is the process of taking your soul apart piece by piece to examine it and then put it back together.